Subject: Happy Birthday!
How old are you anyway?
Paul promised to take a break from the wild and crazy sex to give you the present from me and him. He'd point you at the computer. But he did say he couldn't control whether or not you made it to the computer.
Well that scary thing in the box we sent you it's called a PDA Phone (if you ask me how much it cost us I'll smack you). Now this magical phone has loads of awesome features.
Best one is awesome reception on base. So you could call me up and yell at me while I'm at the academy. Or
I've already plugged in all the phone numbers you could ever want into it. Paul helped out adding several work numbers you'll need.
Paul'll tell you who's on the speed dials for you.
I've set up so you'll get your mail in there, trust me it looks just like outlook so no need to fear it. Added all the e-mails you'll ever need too. Personal and base staff included. All in nice neat folders.
It’s also a camera phone. Paul thinks you should take a pic of your ass and send it to him. I wasn’t supposed to tell you that so I'm sure I'm getting the evil eye now. I can imagine all the fun you'll have with this nifty gadget.
Have a very happy Paul filled birthday!!
P.S. If you get it wet at all I will come after you and hurt you.